Horses and Cows in Wales – And Other Tales of a Corporate Lawyer.

In 2014 and 2015, my job took me to Wales.  Our company was selling its business in the UK, which included a refinery on the Welsh coast.

What a privilege it was to be able to spend time there!  Wales is a beautiful country, similar to Appalachia, but with a beach. 

The people are similar to that region too – a little distant at first, but hospitable, hard-working and proud.  The language is fascinating, truly incomprehensible – either written or spoken.   And sometimes the accents can be too.  Sometimes, with unexpected results.

Which leads us to our story.

Frankly, we weren’t having any luck selling our refinery.  Several prospects had failed to work out.  Time was dragging on and everyone’s patience was at an end.  (That is a story in and of itself . . . perhaps for another day)

Part of my job included meetings with union representatives of our refinery’s workforce; to explain our plan to either sell the refinery or close it, and the possible consequences to jobs.  Folks were weary of the lack of progress, and skeptical that the new team of Americans could produce any different results from the past.  Tension was increasing.

During my first meeting, one of the participants cut me off, tired and unconvinced of whatever I was saying, and bluntly asked: “why is this taking so long, why can’t you finish this.  I mean, my God, I’ve sold horses and cows before, how hard can it be?”  This drew a roomful of laughter at my expense, and perhaps more so because I was really at a loss for a response.

Shortly afterward the meeting took a break and I decided to introduce myself to this person.  After all, I thought, I have these folks’ best interest at heart.  Surely I could convince him I’m one of the good guys.  So I went over and introduced myself.  This guy was hard bitten and not too impressed.  But I was determined to win him over, and I kept pressing.

“So, you have a farm around here?” I asked.

“Why would possibly think that?” he responded flatly.

“Well, you said you’ve sold horses and cows before.”

“I said houses and cars.”

Everyone has their version of the dream where they are in front of a room in their underwear – and this was mine – except it was real.  My mistake, though honest and well-meaning, confirmed for this guy that I was, in fact, the stupidest American he’d ever met.

But our exchange also had an unexpected result, and I was able to use his contempt to my advantage.  Now, instead of fielding any snarky questions, I would ask him to repeat them, and then would simply say: “I’m sorry, I just can’t understand what you say to me; but I’d be happy to discuss your questions with you after the meeting.”